Guy next to me at the café: Are you wearing perfume?
Guy: It’s just so weird, because I can smell that and the vinaigrette from your salad. It’s a strange mix.
Guy: Last night on the bus I was talking to this girl who was wearing [some perfume name—didn’t catch it], and we were talking about [blah, blah, blah, forgot what he was saying already]. It was so funny.
Me: Oh. [polite laugh]
Guy: It’s like your perfume is saying, “Come here,” but your salad dressing is saying, “Stay away.”
Me: Oh, hm. [polite laugh]
Pretty sure it was all saying “stay away,” guy. On the up side, I forgot it was cash-only here, and when it came time to pay I realized I had only $5, but my meal cost more like $7. I asked the guy ringing me up where the nearest ATM is, and he said there’s one right here but not to worry about it. When I protested (multiple times), he said the transaction fee is exorbitant and that he’d rather me not spend $3 to pay the two extra dollars for my meal. I always worry when things like that happen that the person didn’t notice my wedding ring in time, but maybe he really was just being kind. I’ll choose to believe that, and bring extra cash with me next time to make it right.